Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
Shop deviantART for the
holidays and save BIG!
Click here! :holly:
[x]

deviantART

 

Gollum's Betrayal by ~saiyanprincesscat:iconsaiyanprincesscat:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Narrative > Fixed


Gollum’s Betrayal

The precious begs us, weeping, alone—
and again we struggle, cry, groan.
Foolish hobbitses now retire
as we cringe, crouch, creep, conspire
to reclaim you as our own.

We serve only your halcyon throne:
throughout the land let it be known
that all must bow to Middle Earth’s sire,
the precious.

In Mordor master must atone
for treason: precious shan’t be overthrown!
On Crack of Doom sits the hobbitses’ pyre:
your flame, your rage, your creator’s fire.
We shall follow you to the unknown,
our precious.
©2009 ~saiyanprincesscat
:iconsaiyanprincesscat:

Author's Comments

Rondeau: French form with fifteen lines, refrains, and rhyming patterns. Famous example of the rondeau is "In Flanders Fields."

^^; Ok, so kinda a dramatic monologue and a rondeau. I couldn't resist the urge to do this, though... hehehehehehe.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconhem-gul-fermatus:
~hem-gul-fermatus Sep 3, 2009, 7:27:22 PM
This be good, i like it. One, i'm a Tolkien freak, two, you totally nailed Gollum.
Love it, good work.

--
'Cause I Need To Watch Things Die,
From a Distance,
Vicariously I...
Live While The Whole World Dies.
:iconwhisperedreams:
~WhispereDreams Sep 6, 2009, 10:24:25 AM
Goodness this is fun! Great use of the form, and a wonderful dramatic monologue. Really captured Gollum's voice (except maybe the word "halcyon"... diction seems a bit high for him...). I really enjoyed reading this, thanks!

(Gollum is my favourite.)
:iconsaiyanprincesscat:
~saiyanprincesscat Sep 6, 2009, 12:31:06 PM
Thank you! ^^ :glomp:

--
"If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory." -Kreia :rose:
[link]
:iconsaiyanprincesscat:
~saiyanprincesscat Sep 6, 2009, 12:37:11 PM
Heh, yeah, middle stanza is definitely my weakest. I'll be editing all my poems at the end of the month, though, so I have some time to think about what else I could put there. Honestly, at first I was going to write a mythological related poem (tale of Alcyone and Ceyx) before thinking about the word halcyon... "gold"... ahah! The ring! But on that word, I also thought it was a good representation of Gollum's archaisms: the very manner of which he speaks is outdated (the inverted syntax for example). :p However --I do agree with you. I should go back & read Gollum's lines in LotR and The Hobbit instead of going by my fickle memory.

:hug: Thank you so much for your comment. :) I love criticism --it's the only thing that can make someone better in the literary life.

--
"If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory." -Kreia :rose:
[link]
:iconhem-gul-fermatus:
~hem-gul-fermatus Sep 6, 2009, 4:34:41 PM
Mhm^^

--
'Cause I Need To Watch Things Die,
From a Distance,
Vicariously I...
Live While The Whole World Dies.
:iconyunie13:
*Yunie13 Sep 6, 2009, 5:13:19 PM
Wow, really lovely work here :D

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:butterflytwo: Love, love is a verb.
Love is a doing word... :butterflytwo:
:iconsaiyanprincesscat:
~saiyanprincesscat Sep 6, 2009, 5:49:30 PM
Thank you so much ^^ :heart:!!

--
"If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory." -Kreia :rose:
[link]
:iconyunie13:
*Yunie13 Sep 6, 2009, 5:53:48 PM
You are welcome :)

--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:butterflytwo: Love, love is a verb.
Love is a doing word... :butterflytwo:
Previous PageNext Page

Details

September 3
755 bytes

Statistics

8
2 [who?]
29 (0 today)
1 (0 today)

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Site Tour | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy